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Wednesday, 1 October 2008

Missing affection


I don't know why, but Branco's words are bouncing back and forth in my head. The circumstances in which we met were quite strange. After the loud noise of the party slowly settled down, I heard the strumming of a guitar. I followed the melody and found myself in a dark room with high ceilings and long doors. The windows were shut. There was hardly any light in the room. He sat there half perching himself on a desk, holding his guitar close to him. Maybe my footsteps alerted him. He had stopped the music abruptly, as if someone had accidently pressed the pause button. I sat next to him and asked him to play something, which he did. His fingers were weaving magic. All of thirteen, this boy knew his chords very well. I told him someday I too would play the guitar. As I stood to leave, he said, "Listen. Are you seriously interested in learning to play the guitar? It's very simple. If you love the sound of a guitar, you'll learn it fast. There'll be an urge to know more. Just go ahead and do it." I asked him his name. Branco Benson, he said. It rang a bell....I had read the name somewhere. "Are you a part of the school's music troupe?" I inquired. "Not yet". He finished his reply with a smile. "I think I just read your name on that circular and it said that you are selected for the troupe."He rushed to see his name and beamed with pride. Blushingly he told me, "I hadn't seen it myself".
While leaving I asked him if the school treated it's boarders well. He replied with the same smile of casualness,"Yeah....but I miss my mom". What came to mind were these lines from the beautiful song 'Maa' from 'Taare Zameen Par':

I've never told you this
But I'm scared of darkness, mom.
I've never expressed it
But I do care for you, mom

You know everything mom,
Don't you?

Don't leave me like this in the crowd,
I may never be able to come back to you.
Don't send me so far away,
That even my thoughts distance themselves from you.
Am I so bad, mom?

When I was a baby
And father used to rock the cradle,
My eyes would search for you
So that you come and pacify me.

I've never told him this,
But I used to be scared when he rocked the cradle.
I would be trembling inside with fear,
But I never made it visible on my face.

You know everything mom,
Don't you?


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